I was driving to church with John in the back seat and I was just thanking the Lord for everything. Counting my blessings one by one. As I looked back and forth between the road and my handsome son, I was specifically thanking God that He has blessed me with children to teach me patience and selflessness and self-sacrifice. And I was just saying to God, I want to be like a tree planted by living waters (Psalm 1). Bearing fruit. So my children and all those around me can come and sit down in my shade and rest and take great delight in the fruit of my life (Song of Solomon 2:3), specifically the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5: 22-25) made evident in my life like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. When I was speaking of the verse in Song of Solomon to God, He brought to my attention that that verse was describing the bridegroom, Jesus. My goal in this life is to be like Jesus, first and foremost. To have His character and His likeness. Not just to rehabilitate the old-Laura, but to completely die to myself so that Jesus can live and shine through me, giving me new more abundant life. To decrease so that He may increase (John 3:30). I want to look like Jesus. That beautiful tree that bears good, sweet fruit that brings delight, not only to Him, but to those around me.
The second great revelation I've had was about my Melaleuca business. In such perfect timing, He showed me the verse 2 Corinthians 3:5 which says (paraphrased) Our only success comes from God. So I've taken that and recommitted my business and all my other hopefully-money-making endeavors to Him, to either make them a success or not and if it does become successful, all glory goes to Him who made it so. All I'm called to do is be a servant to others and trust Him with the rest.
The third revelation came just today at my women's bible study at church. Without going into a TON of backstory, through this bible study He has been showing me (among other things) how closed off I am emotionally with people due to some life-lessons I've had in my past and other situations. He's been showing me how I've built walls and that I only go so far with people, even with the people that are closest to me, to keep what "safety I have", which is such a dangerous deception. But as I was flipping through my bible to find a verse this morning, He led me to the end of Matthew. Not a verse in Matthew. But on the last page of Matthew, there was written a phrase that shook me. "Love will never fully satisfy until it is fully given away." At the risk of being maybe a little too personal, I need to confess that I have been stingy with my love, especially with Michael, my husband. I publicly repent of that and my aim is to give love fully and freely. He and I will both disappoint each other because it's inevitable in marriage. Our love isn't perfect, but I MUST fully give it. We're celebrating our 4 year anniversary on April 12th and I don't want to waste another minute being selfishly guarded against the man that I have chosen to walk through life with. See?? Even sharing that was a huge step for me.... but there ya go. A little insight into my life.
And what would a blog post be without a picture of this handsome guy?? He is a GIFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|Just a man and his thoughts.... and his phone...|